monologue w shreeya

When i shut my phone down and grab a book, try reading, a half an hour passes then i come to know i am just reading not learning. So, I throw myself away from that particular study space and now i am with my thoughts. My thoughts, my enemy. The number of times that I've been misguided with, where am entertained with short term pleasure and slammed myself with regrets only, false hope, and a lot more. I do have this urge of picking up my phone and get absorbed by the exterior world and just forget everything with this sweetest of fed dopamine. But then i do have this courage to gather guts to not to and just lay off with my own deepest thoughts. I don't know why i hate you but have no option rather than staying with you. Just being indecisive, low confidence and venting in from everything outside, being sensitive and antisocial being is what my thoughts crafted me to be and i couldn't ask less for being the ultimate pessimistic living. You've given me open threats and ma...

Well, this has been a matter of discussion for quite sometimes now.   But the fact that it has been only a matter of discussion and there have not been any implementations of conclusions for it. So till when is this going to continue? Who are the bodies responsible? When will it change? So, as being a high school graduate and having a prior experience of 12 years as a student excluding preschool education cause I barely do remember, and my brain cells were not developed enough to be judgmental then. I write some bodies who I feel like are a part of it but they pretend not to be. Teachers: I have had observed “n” no. of teachers and amongst them there are a few who I remember to be an ideal one. A few means one or two that’s it. Why teachers? Because as far as, I know every students try to be appealing in front of their teachers (appealing in a sense smart and good enough) as teachers' evaluations does matter and if one remains good and nice, they get good grades out of it and v...

 Currently I am sitting at this edge of my bed peeking around the world outside, I am scared to open my balconys door majjale cause I feel like there are some creepy ppl staring at me while I write this and judge me ig. Well I have a plant, planted named oxysome and its growing good. I have always loved gardening and stuff and I had tried to manage this gardening thing of my house. But less that I knew there were so many plants to take care of and yk my capacity is only one and so I am distributing my entirety of love to dearest oxysome. Well I see trees around kinda lucky that I have my house located just near some trees yep. Theyre dancing and its therapeutic to watch, nature lover yk. And I just recovered from being sick for straight a week after ages and I came to knew much of life. Currently, these dogs of my locality are barking way too loud and I am having this urge of going outside shutting their mouths off but wouldn’t do cause I am scared of these dogs and esp loud ones. ...