monologue w shreeya

Never knew being empty and hollow was a blessing until i got myself enrolled in the happiness program of the art of living. I had this vision of having this real pursuit of happiness until i got lesson-ed that being happy in what we do was important rather than finding one. I felt like i was being the sherlock holmes my whole life and it was me detecting, finding happiness and quantifying it as immeasurable or just as a limited edition when pursued.   little reflection on my mind & me- A medical degree itself was challenging and at the end of basics I did lose all my sanity lol. I had a constant fear always hung in the bottom of my heart and it just made me so restless at points where i would be numb on what i was going through and most of the times i pretended to be who i was not and let myself feel okay when i was struggling inside. I would want to be gentle to my surrounding but i had been so harsh on myself knowing the fact that i didn't derserve kati kura that i feel ...

On this journey, we have often stumbled our way across something we got that we didn't want. It may be every flinching response of an approaching stimuli to bursts of emotions at once. As modernization has ruled all over and the world lay across our fingertips, sustainability has been vigorously smooth as well as not so even to our eyes. There is an illusion set on how we view, how it was portrayed and how it has been received. World has subjectively been divided not to only the white and the black but the different shades of grey. The atmosphere is fumed with best and the worse, and we often linger around it. We have been a slave of situation, no matter we do accept it or not. Whether it be a natural or manmade calamities, to proffesional and personal feuds, it is the dominance of the environment against us. Within this system of slavery, the only rule that will fit is the well known "the survival of the fittest" at last. Fit in, rule out and make it happen the other w...

  Let us be seated, fasten our seat-belts and travel back to the time of above. This was in Shangha- Bhaktapur Shivajee temple and i do have a vivid memory of this capture. There was a scenic view and it was on a certain height, so i was a little bit scared and then photographed. This was my favorite outfit, baba brought from Varanasi. I remember playing in slides and the fun space created for kids there. I used to love places that had special kindergarten constructed because life back then demanded those and it was the ultimate luxury. I still have few collection of my dolls, doctor set, and bhadakuti, safe and preserved. There was this subtle innocence and constant curiosity of knowing more. During loadshedding, lying on baba ko bhudi ani playing tyo nokia ko snake game or random gau khane kathas with dai. Imitating mommy, when she used to go to office, in her absence i used to dress like her and pretend i am this grown up woman. I was a teacher and doctor to mero gudiya haru, ho...

narayani ko tir tira  As a premed student, never have I thought that I would move out of the nyano comfort of  ktm valley and settle apart by own. Leaving mommy, baba and dai and just visualising the home without me ached my heart.  I will not deny the fact that I am this pampered valley girl who was exposed to less of the outrage of being on own and facing the world. Me a more shy creature, the survival instincts were really doubtful on being apart lol. Yet, the placement to a new place, Chitwan was less of choice and more of base mark from where I could unlearn things and most importantly grow out from the shelter of comforts. Chitwan, known as the medical hub of the country. My first insight to you was more farakilo roads and more of greens, pollution comparatively less. I saw hamro CMC and line of hospitals and medical centers and was convinced my future profession placement is somewhere in the right place. (the only way i could convince myself on accepting moving apa...

rare of times where i have not much in head yet this need to write it out. a time in life, a good memory, a chapter, a lesson or a feeling. How an invisible average looking human was appreciated and the presence was valued. How the way I look out was noticed and how this often stressful brat was assigned to calm the hell down. How the melancholy of songs like jiyein kyun and aaja matra was not understood and tried best to push away fearing to be left with this gut wrenching feeling. How silliest of little things had been cute over cringe. We live in a pretty strange world, where moments lay down as lessons which at the end is all for the better. No matter how hundreds of trial from both, yet the digit appears as a binary zero and not a one. The situation of the meet happens to be in an off time and certain circumstances not made by us make things awkward.  Yet at the end peace is maintained with no hate but mutual respect and probably the best memories. Its human to feel upset on n...

reflecting on the mirror now turned grey and wrinkled was once more young and dearer as there is an abundant experience sprinkled the different chapters of life created each page with a core memory of being utmost elated in the joy of this thriving symmetry where these hands is a skill to be passed and every learning is to be treasured knitting both bliss and sorrow surpassed the family made in a home of love museums of old silly tales narrated with a spark between the beloved stays forever and till the day when all these bones and muscle are brittle and have nothing in hands then recalling back to the people met and had to let go in between the gallery of moments left to settle the journey was beautiful not always on ease yet to be cherished in the bottom of the heart.