monologue w shreeya

  Let us be seated, fasten our seat-belts and travel back to the time of above. This was in Shangha- Bhaktapur Shivajee temple and i do have a vivid memory of this capture. There was a scenic view and it was on a certain height, so i was a little bit scared and then photographed. This was my favorite outfit, baba brought from Varanasi. I remember playing in slides and the fun space created for kids there. I used to love places that had special kindergarten constructed because life back then demanded those and it was the ultimate luxury. I still have few collection of my dolls, doctor set, and bhadakuti, safe and preserved. There was this subtle innocence and constant curiosity of knowing more. During loadshedding, lying on baba ko bhudi ani playing tyo nokia ko snake game or random gau khane kathas with dai. Imitating mommy, when she used to go to office, in her absence i used to dress like her and pretend i am this grown up woman. I was a teacher and doctor to mero gudiya haru, ho...

narayani ko tir tira  As a premed student, never have I thought that I would move out of the nyano comfort of  ktm valley and settle apart by own. Leaving mommy, baba and dai and just visualising the home without me ached my heart.  I will not deny the fact that I am this pampered valley girl who was exposed to less of the outrage of being on own and facing the world. Me a more shy creature, the survival instincts were really doubtful on being apart lol. Yet, the placement to a new place, Chitwan was less of choice and more of base mark from where I could unlearn things and most importantly grow out from the shelter of comforts. Chitwan, known as the medical hub of the country. My first insight to you was more farakilo roads and more of greens, pollution comparatively less. I saw hamro CMC and line of hospitals and medical centers and was convinced my future profession placement is somewhere in the right place. (the only way i could convince myself on accepting moving apa...

rare of times where i have not much in head yet this need to write it out. a time in life, a good memory, a chapter, a lesson or a feeling. How an invisible average looking human was appreciated and the presence was valued. How the way I look out was noticed and how this often stressful brat was assigned to calm the hell down. How the melancholy of songs like jiyein kyun and aaja matra was not understood and tried best to push away fearing to be left with this gut wrenching feeling. How silliest of little things had been cute over cringe. We live in a pretty strange world, where moments lay down as lessons which at the end is all for the better. No matter how hundreds of trial from both, yet the digit appears as a binary zero and not a one. The situation of the meet happens to be in an off time and certain circumstances not made by us make things awkward.  Yet at the end peace is maintained with no hate but mutual respect and probably the best memories. Its human to feel upset on n...

reflecting on the mirror now turned grey and wrinkled was once more young and dearer as there is an abundant experience sprinkled the different chapters of life created each page with a core memory of being utmost elated in the joy of this thriving symmetry where these hands is a skill to be passed and every learning is to be treasured knitting both bliss and sorrow surpassed the family made in a home of love museums of old silly tales narrated with a spark between the beloved stays forever and till the day when all these bones and muscle are brittle and have nothing in hands then recalling back to the people met and had to let go in between the gallery of moments left to settle the journey was beautiful not always on ease yet to be cherished in the bottom of the heart.

 Perhaps it would have been a little easier, if only I was a good speaker and would have let out whats constantly running inside this restless cage of the amalgamated thoughts. On the other side it just provokes with the little luxuries that i can wrap my arms around to sit sound and protect the peace within. Learning bits of neuroscience and the working of human mind, meant to be curious to further link on new synapses for new discoveries but with the concerning disease and drugs, the self made diagnosis made to oneself is a little petrifying as well. Vacancy in head is almost not possible for me to achieve, meditations to some extent does bring peace to both soul and mind which is optional as being a procrastination queen sticking to the ideology of it makes it not so comfortably achievable. Not that I have tried on this but settling to the perfection and trying to be perfectly perfect without valuing the flaws of its imperfection has led this amalgamated thoughts to sit and just...

let the grief end darling let the sorrow melt in as season of joy is arriving let the peace settle in ease a bit and give you the delicacy that you spread around dear it is not as messy as you have thought and choosing to heal is always for your better keep your circle close knit appreciate, value and cherish live live with no guilt as is shortens with nights following days like wise you will be able to find the lost light of you and as of a humble person with pure intention you have life will treat you well as you deserve so calm the nervous system soothe with what makes you utmost happy choose to vent out the darkness within you making you light in heart and head and let the void be filled with more maya and maya  from you to you and let the drive of just being amazingly better to be continued.....